Prince Harry’s doing ‘whatever the dickens he does all day’

Experts have just issued a dire warning regarding the relationship between Prince William and Prince Harry because it appears “there is no hint of a suggestion that any sort of communication was attempted” given this “War of the Roses 2.0.”

Royal commentator Daniela Elser issued these claims regarding Prince Harry.

According to News.com.au she warned, “Prepare to be shocked when I tell you that there is no hint of a suggestion that any sort of communication was attempted between William and Harry given this War of the Roses 2.0.”

She also added, “What, I’m guessing, the Prince of Wales must think of Harry’s ‘rock bottom’ line would probably not be fit for publishing without numerous asterisks and would require so many exclamation marks I’d be in need of a new keyboard. (She takes a beating the old girl, especially the ‘H’ key).”

“This week, all sides have retreated to their respective corners," Ms Elser believes. "Charles has taken the Royal Train north in a scene that looks like something from the Hogwarts Express and William will pop up at some point to earnestly try and solve homelessness or some such before his lunchtime sandwich.”

All the while, “An ocean and a continent away, Harry is back in Montecito doing whatever the dickens he does all day – let’s just assume it involves a lot of meetings with Archewell staffers where he steeples his fingers, uses phrases like ‘blue-sky thinking’ and commandeers all the whiteboard markers.”