Prince Harry, Meghan Markle want ‘hundreds of strewn in their princely path’

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have just been hailed for possessing the ability to turn ‘spin self-pitying chaff into gold’.

These claims and admissions have been brought to light by royal commentator Allison Pearson.

She started the conversation off by accusing Meghan Markle of planning to ‘sell’ herself in a first-ever attempt to Spotify and Netflix.

Ms Tominey believes Meghan Markle planned her Archetypes podcast to be one that features “pious podcast platitudes about female empowerment – well, one female’s empowerment anyway”.

“Glittering guests would line up to take a largely non-speaking role in madam’s Archetypes show,” she added while referencing Meghan Markle’s alleged thoughts.

Not to mention, she believes, the couple always expected “hundreds of millions of dollars” to “be strewn in their princely path simply because hereditary power (which they affect to disdain because, uh, you know, ‘fairness and equity’) gave them the magical ability to spin self-pitying chaff into gold.”

“It was a genius idea,” Ms Tominey believes. “Harry and Meghan would be the first non-working Content Producers in history.”

“The ‘content’ they sold to Spotify and Netflix would be themselves. By prostituting their royal credentials to the highest bidder, they would be raking it in for years to come.”