Mariah Carey's ex Nick Cannon opens up about insecurities 'being her man'

Mariah Carey’s ex Nick Cannon remembers having existential crisis when he was “her man.”

The discussion on masculinity and identity opened as the Wild 'n Out star, 44, appeared on the Ray Daniels Presents podcast Thursday.

"I didn't actually really care what the world thought because the perception, you know, that is what it is. People are going to love you one day, hate you the next day," Cannon began as he recalled his brief marriage to an “alpha” woman.

The musician, who married Carey in 2008, then confessed to questioning “his own identity” at some point.

"I could care less about that. … But going to myself with that pressure of, 'Who am I?' "

"I got married in my 20s, you know what I mean? To the biggest star in the world," he added.

From there, Cannon sensed a decline in his sense of identity begin before they eventually divorced six years later.

"My trajectory was here," he said, gesturing downwards, "and then hers—she's already in a different stratosphere."

Cannon went on about his struggle to have his own identity outside of their relationship, admitting that he did get "comfortable" with Carey taking the lead on professional fronts.

"She's got islands and I'm waking up at noon and people bringing me steaks on a platter," he joked.

"I would lay up at night thinking, like, 'Is is this who I am? Am I Mariah's man? Is that what my life is supposed to be?'" Cannon said. "There's nothing wrong with it."

The actor also said he struggled with his masculinity and the "hierarchy" of their family after the pair welcomed their two children, twins Moroccan and Monroe, in April 2011.

"I'm carrying a purse, the diaper bag and, you know, I'm standing on the corner like, 'Wait.' She's rocking being the alpha," Cannon continued, agreeing when the podcast's host acknowledged, "She deserves it."

"I believe she needs a dude like that. I'm just not that dude," Cannon added.

Cannon then went on to welcome eight more children with many women after they split in 2014 while Carey enjoyed several long-term relationships.

In August this year, Cannon opened up to E! News about feeling him and Carey "belong together." He added that he would “absolutely” get back together with Carey and that it would “be stupid if [he] didn’t.” 

Cannon also joked to the outlet, saying, “she don’t want me.” Just a few weeks later, he clarified to People, “She's moved on from my crazy antics."