Sunday neurosis: Wake up to the quiet panic

You wake up and it's Sunday, the final day, or rather the only day of your weekend. Slowly but powerfully, the feelings of unease and anxiousness start to creep in, making each passing minute unbearable.

As the sun sets on a Sunday evening, your heart sinks with it, leaving you feeling empty and hollow inside. The list of your pending tasks grows longer than your Netflix watch list and the anticipated fun of the weekend slowly dies out, but still, you are lying around like a half-dead soulless creature, not ready to give in to the responsibilities just yet. Folks if that’s how you feel on a Sunday, then you are not alone. This condition is rather so prevailing that a Hungarian psychoanalyst named Sandor Ferenczi (1873-1933) had to come up with a term to describe this, hence the phrase “Sunday neurosis”.

This is the stress and anxiety that people feel right before the arrival of oh-so-scary Monday. Unfortunately, we as humans are in a time where we are constantly being overestimated. Once we get a break, it starts to feel unnatural. The examples of Pakistani fathers/men can be no less than accurate, where they feel like sitting idle on a Sunday is a punishment or a crime. This concept is so deeply rooted in multiple other psychological phenomena that we can never start and conclude this issue on a single note.

The shift from a rigid, all-consuming weekly routine to a comparatively relaxed and less demanding weekend often leaves a negative psychological impact.

According to Viktor Emil Frankl (1905–1997), an Austrian neurologist and Holocaust survivor, when the hustle-bustle of working days end, and the weekend arrives, especially Sunday, the person starts to sub-consciously reflect on his inner self, and he becomes more aware of the lack of satisfaction or motivation that he has in life. Man’s inner void becomes apparent to him in his free time while he anticipates the coming week’s tasks, and this results in anxiety symptoms, like irritability, and concentration issues.

Lack of social connections, existential life questions, heavy Monday workload; any such reason could be the cause of our Sunday blues. Moreover, sometimes even the lingering guilt that consumes us on Sunday is due to our belief that we didn’t deserve a time off. There is another interesting reason. If you had experienced anxiety on Sundays in your childhood because of the next day of school, then most probably your brain is programmed to respond in a similar manner later as well, since a huge chunk of our lives is moulded by our childhood and school experiences.

According to Victor Frankl’s book "Man Search for Meaning", the deepest desire of a person is to find meaning and purpose in his life, and when he is unable to do that it is more likely for him to feel disconnected from the world around him and get neurotic. Career-oriented people who have become corporate slaves, and are deteriorating themselves with their 9-5 working hours feel most restless and uncomfortable on the weekends as if they are losing a part of themselves.

And when I look around, I can easily identify those individuals, ranting on a weekend, meanwhile I am trying to absorb the calm of all my free time. The real tragedy always befalls the one who becomes self-aware. Their Sunday brunches are often accompanied by a side of existential dread. Their realisation of this feeling either initiates their search for purpose, or they continue to tear down themselves with each passing day.

An average Pakistani has a ton of stressors waiting for them in the upcoming week, making them loathe the otherwise-so-serene Sunday evening. A relative of mine recently talked about how they used to long for Sundays as a child, for everyone to gather around and wander around looking for trouble; however, now it just feels like Sunday is itself bringing the troubles we want freedom from. That contrast just stuck with me, forcing me to observe my own feelings and routine on a Sunday.

My father, who has closely observed these Sunday blues, says that even those who seem free are not truly liberated, as their minds are still not free from the shackles of worrisome thoughts. One of the individuals weighed in, by saying that people here don't necessarily need a dramatic event or deep introspection to gain insight into their struggles. They are constantly preoccupied with the thought that in the upcoming week, they will have to return to their mundane routines — paying for petrol, buying groceries, worrying about the fluctuating economy and unstable political landscape, looking for jobs, dropping their kids off early in the morning, only to be stuck in traffic for an hour. And the one who has nothing to worry about will overthink even the uncertainties of the next week, accusing Sunday of his mental drainage. On the surface, these issues may seem trivial, but in reality, it is making people wish they could simply shut off their minds and stretch Sundays as long as possible, to delay the arrival of next week.

Maheen Waqar — a clinical psychologist as well as a member of the American Psychological Association and Pakistan Psychological Association — recounts that this phenomenon is observed firsthand with some clients coming from all sorts of backgrounds.

"When the clients step away from their work hustle and obligations, they feel very restless on the day off as their inner quietness is unsettling for them. Several clients have described this 'Sunday feeling' as hollow. During the week they can push aside their deeper concerns due to focus on their duties and tight schedules, but when Sunday comes, they often feel like something’s missing," said Waqar.

Sharing an anecdote regarding one of her clients, she added that they described this feeling as "empty but anxious". "Things that the clients would normally not pay attention to would also start bothering them on the weekends."

Now, everyone would like a solution to this, isn’t it? After all, everyone wants more than just a reality check. The solutions can be different for every individual but some crucial tips will help you crush those Sunday scares right away.

• The first (and not-so-fun) tip is to identify the root cause of your worrisome feelings. Ask yourself, what is making me uncomfortable? What do I feel unprepared for? Without identification, you can never know which direction you are going to take.
• Plan something for the upcoming week that you actually would look forward to, like a little treat. Maybe grabbing your favourite hot chocolate before going to work, or planning a visit to the newly opened café with a friend will make your Sunday more exciting.
• Look after yourself and try some anxiety-coping strategies. It may sound bookish, but going for a walk, being mindful, showing gratitude, or joking sound with your loved ones might be the most natural and powerful tips anyone can utilize.
• Now this last one might not be everyone’s favorite, but give it a try. Start journaling. It will give you the sense of clarity that you never knew you needed. I know everyone doesn’t like writing, but nobody’s going to read or grade your journal, so do it in a way that resonates with you. Drawing, sticky notes, mobile notes, or the traditional diary – it’s really your call.

Sunday neurosis, although, initially seemed like a little-known phenomenon, turned out to be an extremely prevalent feeling that is intricately woven with our perception of life and prior experiences. If you can recognise the right reasons then various effective strategies can help you navigate the bumpy Sunday rides that you experience after every week.

So, the next time your serene Sunday is cut short and the Monday alarm jolts you awake, you’ll at least know exactly what to blame.

The author is a student of BS Applied Psychology.