Jax Taylor reveals why he felt 'disgusted' watching himself on 'The Valley'

Jax Taylor went through unexpected emotions while watching himself in The Valley's season 2.

This season of the Bravo's show witnessed Taylor's bipolar disorder and PTSD diagnosis, his estranged wife Brittany Cartwright filing for divorce from him, and his admission to a medical health facility for his mental health.

However, Taylor still managed to see the first episode of season 2 and revealed in his podcast, In the Mind of a Man, the emotional ride he felt while watching it.

"I did watch it. I sat in the corner and I cried my eyes out. I was so disgusted about what I saw, about that shell of a human being that I was looking at, about how I acted," he confessed.

"It was just utter disgust. And, you know, I looked at it like, 'Wow. I'm glad I watched this because I never wanna be that person again," he remarked

Taylor mentioned that he was not quite ready to watch the first two episode as they are both "extremely difficult" for him.

The Vanderpump Rules alum explained, "I was calling the producers. I'm like, 'Should I watch this? Should I watch this?' Then I'm like, 'I don't wanna watch this.' They're like, 'Jax, listen. It was a year ago. The show was shot a year ago. You are in a different place. If you weren't in a different place, I would say no. Don't watch it. But you know what? You've grown a lot from this first episode. I think you should watch it. I think you should watch it and see, okay, this is a place where you never wanna get back to again.'"

Sharing how he felt watching himself, Taylor said, "I just gave myself the ick... I looked disgusting. I was like 180 pounds. I just look gross."

"I never wanna get back to — as much as I work out and take care of my body now, I could never put alcohol back in my body knowing what it does to it," he added, referring to his past addiction to substances.